To say it runs through me

Would suggest that it has left

It does not

Its inside now and found its home

What a powerful, cruel and unwanted gift to have received

It settled in deep,  hard and stiff not willing to open upon coaxing

I carry and protect it strong and with resentment

Hard cold and steely

A tight and sealed nut of hate with clinging newly sprouted roots needling its way into my fleshy heart


My eye of addiction sets in the sick vision

I am now blind and needy for just one or two moments of the violent touch

Knowing full well this would only be the key to the floodgates

Stomping on skulls dusty or wet

To whip slap or slash at anything flesh

A powerful force always destructively absorbing

Only to recede and  have it hide inside again

And wait

For another unpredicted moment to occur

A victim

To display my rampage and rapture of emotions

It overwhelms and can no longer find rules to follow

I no longer have it

It has me

And it will do what it must

With unwavering unsatiated hunger

Only to settle in again

And wait for another non discriminative moment

A victim

I don’t love the way you lie

The truth makes more sense


It must stay hidden and unseen

I dont want it witnessed

But a warning must be heard

This seething inside me is in a desperate attempt to expel

It is soothed only when the  dripping toxic  rancid words on my lips  spill

The taste causes spit foaming and to drip bubbling over

In a haze

I carry it now heavy with a fog

It can never be ignored

An unnerving lingering feeling that never wavers

Hoping it will someday lift with a sunrise

Off the heart and off the soul

Of a victim

Of  another  unexpected painful moment

It will use as enhancements to the never ending thoughts

This bestowed gift will be just

I will identify with the light as I lunge forward

Still keeping a heavy placed paw on my well worn path

rage_and_gentleness_by_lolita_artClick these links to read the real life novel PUNCH!





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